Norwegian odyssey

400,000 islands, 4 million  inhabitants and a zillion herrings. That's Norway! 12 days cruising up the coast of Norway,from Bergen to Kirkenes and the Russian border. Meandering in and out of fjords, on board a Norwegian steamer which also acts as postman for these small communities. 

A delightful experience with ultra clean everything, super food and  big lounges for viewing the passing land and seascape. But for the Gulf Stream, this land inside the Arctic Circle, would be as uninhabitable as the Antarctic.  Instead, tiny towns with oxblood red, blue, pink, green and ochre wooden houses, are scattered in the small green clearings near the sea. Like toy town!

Everybody speaks English - fellow coffee drinkers in cafes, others waiting at the bus stop, waitresses, the lot. And yet, the usual strange and just off the target, translations abound. Our loo has a notice 'Don't throw strange things in the toilet', on deck, near a locked gateway, it warns 'Danger of life'.

This is not a cruise ship - thank God - and there is no entertainment other than the slightly sadistic ceremony, which takes place in a howling gale on deck as we enter the Arctic Circle.

On view: a huge basin full of icecubes, trays of strong liquor shots, the purser and someone disguised as a Viking with a red wig and horned helmet. The first unsuspecting initiate who goes up to claim his prize for having estimated correctly at what time we crossed the magic line, is rewarded with having a ladleful of icecubes poured down his neck! An astonishing number of people then opt for the same treatment. So not just sadism but masochism as well!

Most surprising was that, even this far north, there was no snow, except sometimes on mountain tops. But there was a flurry of snow on August 31, just to prove that this is Norway.