New protocol

There must be a new school for doorstep salesmen. They arrive in two pairs, working each side of the street simultaneously. They are dressed in smart dark suits, rather like Jehova's Witnesses who earnestly try to persuade you to read their tracts. They start off by telling you who they are a l'americain, as in "Why good morning to you! My name is Al and this here is Joe'. The next line is "And how are you today?"

And me being you, of course, begins to get suspicious. What are they trying to sell me? Oh perish the thought! Nothing! So why are you here? Well, one such scenario tried to make me keep up with the Joneses by telling me that they were getting their gas and electricity from X and they could not think why I was not doing the same. But I don't want to change supplier. Oh we are not talking about the product, we are talking about the supply pipes. Never heard that one before. Just put something in the post and I will look at it. With no instant commission, I don't expect to hear more.

No way did the other ones want money for their charity. Not now anyway. Just sign up for a regular drip their way for the future.

And that was followed by me standing outside Marks and Spencer rattling a tin for Amnesty. Interesting to watch people's reaction. Some look through you or around you, others make a beeline when they see the name on the tin and empty their purses. Ah well, you can't win them all!  Tht's probably what the salesmen think too.