On the second day of Christmas, my paper brought to me, news of banking meltdown, six christmas cards and a letter from a charity.
On the third day of Christmas, my TV announced to me, the Pound is sinking fast, the banks are melting down and there are eight christmas cards and two letters from a charity.
On the fourth day of Christmas, it became quite clear - policemen are incompetent, the Pound is sinking fast, banks are melting down, there are ten christmas cards and three letters from a charity.
On the fifth day of Christmas, I heard that Woolworths are shutting shop, policemen are incompetent, the Pound has hit rock bottom, banks are melting down, we have more christmas cards and several letters from a charity.
On the sixth day of Christmas, yet another parking fine, news that Woolworth' s closing, policemen are incompetent, the Pound is plunging further, banks are bloody useless and christmas cards and charity letters are running neck to neck.
On the seventh day of Christmas, unemployment figures leap, parking fines increase, Woolworth is closing, the police are incompetent, the Pound is laughable, banks are really greedy, and the christmas cards and charity letters keep coming in.
On the eighth day of Christmas, the dustmen ring my bell, just to wish me all the best, unemployment figures leap, parking fines increase, Woolworth just has empty shelves, the police catch almost no one, the Pound might buy you one croissant, mortgage lender tell you to get stuffed, christmas cards keep coming and the charities are working overtime.
On the ninth day of Christmas, we say 'blow that". Let's have a nice meal out, let's forget about the dustmen, we feel sad for the unemployed, we are furious with the traffic wardens, lament Woolworth's closing, buy a load of croissants, pity house buyers, love opening christmas cards and send money to our favourite charity.
On the tenth day of Christmas our nearest and dearest get together. We will eat a lot and laugh a lot and we will have a really great day.
Merry Christmas everyone and let's hope 2009 is better.
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