Food or Turner Prize contender?

We love to eat out and the last ten days have offered one celebration after another, all in restaurants. Most of the places we visit serve good, well-cooked food at a reasonable price. This week, we have been more reckless and visited some much praised establishments, where it is better not to ask the price, otherwise one might leave before ordering.

Well, apart from the fact that they seem to major on the cheapest stuff around - pork belly, rabbit, mackarel - the look of most plates is pretty ridiculous: A painted splodge of this, a dot of that, a 3 millimetre cube of something else, soup on an enormous plate with a tiny indentation. And, of course, it is not called soup but some pretentious description including the words, mousse, foam, reduction, jus and god knows what else. And It is not enough to put the food in front of you. Somebody has to stand at your table and give you a long spiel of what the plate contains. In our most recent experience, the poor French trainee, could not remember the end of the seemingly endless description and, with tearful eyes had to summon another waiter to finish her sentence.

Some dishes were very good but others, with your eyes shut, you would not know what you were eating. And while I am being a grumpy old woman, why is it assumed that we will want a glass of champagne as an aperitif and why in their wisdom - or is it their greed? - were there no half bottles of wine at all in one (clip)joint?

A taster menu for £100 madame?